South Korea

Customs of South Korea

Marriage and Family

Most South Koreans today choose their own spouses. Many forgo the elaborate traditional-style wedding and marry in public wedding halls wearing contemporary clothes. Women retain their birth names after they marry.

The family is bound together by a strong sense of duty and obligation among its members. The father is the head of the family; he and the eldest son receive the greatest respect. In the extended family, the oldest members are shown particular respect. The eldest son is traditionally given the best opportunities for education and success. Professional opportunities for women have expanded in recent years.

Although the nuclear family is now more common, especially in the cities, sons still expect to care for their aging parents. Because of the Confucian emphasis on family hierarchies, detailed genealogies are kept. These go back centuries and include each person’s birth, relations, achievements, and place of burial. A Korean name consists of a one-syllable family name followed by a one- or two-syllable given name. Kim and Yi are the most common family names.

Eating

Rice is the main staple food. It is often combined with red beans or vegetables and kimch’i, a spicy pickled cabbage. Korean cuisine uses a lot of spices. Soup is often part of a meal, and chicken, beef, and fish are common. A favorite delicacy is bulgogi, strips of marinated and barbecued beef. Barley tea is served with most meals. Soju and beer are common alcoholic drinks. Fruit is popular as a dessert. In recent years western food such as hamburgers and pizza have become popular, especially among young people. Many restaurants now cater to this change in tastes.

Chopsticks and spoons are the most commonly used eating utensils. At a dinner party, the meal is usually served first, before socializing. Items are passed and drinks are poured with the right hand, while the left hand supports the forearm or wrist. When holding a glass to receive a drink, it is polite to use both hands. Eating while walking on the street is not appropriate for adults.

Socializing

A gentle nod is the traditional greeting. A slight bow shows respect but should not be exaggerated. Among urban South Korean men, a nod is often accompanied by a handshake. The left hand may support or rest under the right forearm during the handshake to show respect. Women shake hands less often than men. Between professionals meeting for the first time, business cards are exchanged; they are presented face up and accepted with both hands after a handshake. Special deference is shown to elders.

The use of someone’s title shows respect. Foreign visitors should always address people formally unless asked to do otherwise. A common greeting is Annyong haseyo?, which means 'How do you do?' Young children often greet each other with a simple Annyong? To show special respect, an honorific is added to the greeting: Annyong hashimnikka? Young children bow or nod when greeting adults.

It is not unusual to see South Korean men (usually younger) holding hands or walking with a hand on a friend’s shoulder. Touching older people or members of the opposite sex is generally not appropriate, however.

Guests invited to a home remove their shoes upon entering. While European-style furniture is common, in traditional Korean homes guests are seated on cushions on ondol floors that are heated from below. Men sit cross-legged and women tuck their legs to one side behind them. The guest receives the warmest or best position. Guests invited for a meal or party customarily bring a small gift in appreciation, often something that can be served at the gathering. Refreshments are usually served, and it is impolite to refuse them.

Recreation

Baseball and soccer are the most popular spectator sports. Because Seoul hosted the 1988 Olympic Games, the capital has some excellent facilities. Koreans also enjoy basketball, swimming, tennis, boxing, and golf—many Japanese travel to South Korea just to play golf. Walking and hiking are popular, and the mountains provide opportunities for skiing and mountain climbing. The national sport is the martial art tae kwon do. Another local sport is ssirum, in which the contestants wrestle while wearing cloth harnesses. Cinemas, art exhibits, and theaters also provide entertainment.

Holidays and Celebrations

The New Year is celebrated over two days, on 1 and 2 January. Lunar New Year is celebrated for three days in January or February. For this holiday, families gather to exchange gifts, honor their ancestors, and enjoy large meals. Generally, everyone dresses in traditional clothing. After memorial services, family members bow to each older person in a show of respect, and to exchange well wishes for the New Year. Games are played and fortunes are told. The other important family holiday is Ch'usok (Korean Thanksgiving Day), when family members visit the ancestral tomb to offer food in honor of their ancestors. Other holidays include Independence Movement Day (1 March), Children’s Day (5 May), Buddha’s Birthday (in May, observed according to the lunar calendar), Memorial Day (6 June), Constitution Day (17 July), Liberation Day (15 August), National Foundation Day (3 October), and Christmas Day (25 December). Arbor Day (5 April), Armed Forces Day (1 October), and Korean Language Day (9 October) are marked by various celebrations but are not public holidays.

On a person’s 60th birthday, members of the extended family gather for a grand celebration, called Hwan’gap. New members of the family are also celebrated. One hundred days after a child's birth, a small feast is held in honor of the child; this celebration is a legacy of South Korea's past high infant mortality rates. A much more significant celebration, called Tol, is held at the first birthday. The first gift a child picks up from among the many gifts offered is thought to signal his or her fortunes in life.